Hey Everyone!
So here I am, in an internet cafe in Longsight. Cool. Whenever I go to Unimag's house we find better things to do than make updates (no, we watch films, you dirty bastards) so I decided to pay a whole English pound and update from this scrubby little dump, where my only distraction is a tinny sound system, playing Bollywood soundtrack hits. Not that I'm exactly going to write a masterpiece or anything, I'm just going to update about Little Gay Brandon.

Some of you have asked how LGB is coping at his new (state) school. The work they set there is way behind where he got up to in his old (posh, private) school...And I suppose that's only to be expected, when his education is now free, whereas before it was costing ten thousand pounds a year (I shit you not). This is frustrating for me and a bit boring for him but at least it allows him to settle in without the pressure of trying to keep up academically(he's almost two years ahead in some subjects). On the plus side he is now learning Spanish (as well as still learning French) and he is treated like the School Genius. Yay!

"But is he getting the shit kicked out of him?" you all ask.

Happily...No.

I thought he might, I was almost sure of it. Loads of poor, rough, common, NORTHERN children. A huge school. And in the middle of it all my poshly spoken, chubby and frankly CAMP little boy. OMG.

But in fact the kids have been really nice to him. he's terribly funny and very friendly after all and joking aside most of the kids aren't that tough, they're just not as rich as his old mates. He has TONS of new friends and lots of GIRLS texting him! His accent is already displaying signs of Northernism. He calls the "Asda" supermarket "The Asduuuh" and the other day he said I was "Dizzy" when he thought I was being a bit mental. That's not an expression I've ever heard him use before. And he pronounced it "Dizzeeeh". Cute. Of course, he'll never sound as Northern and rough as Unimag, who speaks like the kind of man who inhabits D.H. Lawrence novels and has sex outdoors. Mmm.

Anyway. LGB is doing well and I should mention that his school building is BRAND NEW and cost as much as a small island! It is HIGH TECH too, which means that he identifies himself to the school Dinner Ladies by putting his finger onto a biometric pad thingy...Which allows them to see a photo of him on a screen and to make sure he has enough money on account for his dinner! WTF? I guess a few of the Northern kids there will need to get used to having their fingerprints taken anyhow. It's like training them for the future.

Oh blimey, my pound is running out. I love you all, thanks for your comments on my last post. Keep safe and keep commenting, it's pissing Unimag off that I get more replies than him. Mwahahaha! I'll update soonish, I hope.