Gifts For Men
With Christmas approaching, women's magazines are full of the usual seasonal articles telling us how to buy gifts that are suitable for our boyfriends/husbands. Men, we are led to believe, are "hard to buy for" and thus we must invest in monogrammed golf-balls, executive toys, expensive fragrances, novelty alarm clocks, leather driving gloves, or tickets to go hot-air ballooning...Otherwise our beloveds will find us (and our gifts) lame, boring and unsexy.

Really? Or are we women actually being misled by the glossies into believing that men are a lot deeper and more demanding than they are in reality? Should we be desperately trying to find presents that express our love and demonstrate our originality? Or should we just relax and give him underwear, socks and aftershave?


Ladies, I have studied men for almost 50 years and I'm here to tell you, men are EASY to buy for, because they DON'T CARE about presents.


Face it, if a man REALLY wants something, he immediately buys it for HIMSELF. Men aren't like women, they don't hold off buying things for themselves out of an initial sense of "maybe I don't deserve it" and then spend the run-up to the Festive season HINTING at the gift they'd like and thinking "If she really loves me she'll pick up on my hints and on Christmas morning all my dreams will come true!". Men don't like being vulnerable in that way, they buy what they want and treat Christmas as a time to possibly pick up an extra thing or two. If THEY aren't setting too much stock in what you buy, why should YOU worry so much about it?

And don't bother trying to buy him something "romantic". Women waste a lot of time looking for cute and "romantic" gifts for their partners, in the mistaken belief that when their man unwraps that cuddly dog, or those heart-shaped cuff-links, he will suddenly become entirely different towards them and start writing them poetry, or something. Nothing of the sort will happen (he'll probably think "WTF?"). In fact, sisters, when you buy a romantic gift for a man you set up a secret little hope in yourselves that he might be buying a romantic gift for YOU too (which of course he isn't) and you end up feeling cross and disappointed. Romantic gifts are expensive to buy, take emotional energy to choose and don't impress men as much as the simplest blow-job or roast dinner. Instead, buy him a set of spanners that might come in useful if he needs to mend your car. Or something.

Remember I said that men don't tend to drop hints about what they want? If you really want to get something he likes, why not just ASK him what he wants? I'm sure he didn't choose you for your potential psychic ability, it was probably more to do with the size and shape of your tits. Even if you don't ask him there's a good chance he will tell you outright, if you don't mention his present AT ALL in the weeks before Christmas (or his Birthday, come to that). He doesn't want you to forget him, does he? And if HE tells you, that's your big chance to tell HIM what YOU want!

One reason that women care so much about what THEY get from THEIR partners is the potential for what I will call "Boastability". We LOVE to meet up with the girls and compare gifts after Christmas.
"OMG, Jeff is SO romantic! Look at this bracelet! It cost him a fortune and he even had my name engraved on it, with LOVE HEARTS!" we crow delightedly to an ugly singleton friend.
Men don't really indulge in gift based Boastabilty with their mates. They know that having a woman who is understanding and fun gives them more status that having a woman who buys Armani ties.
"What did Scarlet get you for Christmas?"
"Socks"
"Cool. Does she still do that THING with her tongue you told us about?"
"OH yes." (The Christmas gift may have been boring but he still looks like a God to his friends.)

So what SHOULD you get him? Clothes are a good gift for men, as long as they are black. No ghastly Festive jumpers or novelty ties (no novelty ANYTHING, unless you want to come off as retarded). Anything that makes a bloke smell better is an investment. Anything he says he'd like is nice to get (within reason). Anything you want him to have so that he can fix things for you (or decorate the house) is worth your money. Those are the sorts of things you want to consider when buying for men.

Easy. Now throw away those magazines before he starts getting ideas above his station.



And will somebody tell LiveJournal that "usexy" MUST be a word.