Scarlet (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} scarletdemon) wrote,@ 2008-03-20 13:15:00 |
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Shame
I have a confession to make and it isn't pretty. You see, I've taken up a new and shameful hobby...I've started cross stitching. No, don't go, hear me out. The thing about cross stitch is that it is compulsive to the "user" but REPULSIVE to everyone else (unless they too are "infected"). Telling people that you have taken up cross stitching is a bit like telling people that you have let The Lord Jesus Christ into your heart...You can see the look of horror creep across their faces, as they slowly back away and try to decided whether they want to know you anymore.
The reason that people are so loathe to mix with cross stitchers is very similar to the reason they avoid Christians...They don't want anything rammed down their throats. And at least with Christianity they only have to listen to a few crappy Bible quotes, or throw a couple of unwanted printed tracts onto the fire. If, however, they continue to associate with cross stitchers they risk being given presents (or birthday cards) in cross stitch! Horrible, ugly, dated-looking things that have been lovingly and laboriously made, so that they cannot throw them away (without feeling guilty) and must therefore keep forever. Stored FOREVER in their HOMES, also with the distinct expectation that they will be hung ON THE WALL. And I don't mean a wall in the loo.
Right about now you are probably getting confused.
"How can Scarlet say she likes to cross stitch and then slag off the very hobby she enjoys?" you ask.
That's simple. Cross stitching is fun, it's like doing a puzzle (as you copy the pattern chart) and doing something creative at the same time. The outcome is going to be a twee, bumpy, picture of a cottage, some poppies, Chinese symbols, Peter Rabbit, a Native American, a wolf or a cat (ugh, these are the only pictures ever invented for cross stitch, I swear) but the process of actually making that picture is relaxing and vaguely artistic. I enjoy it. Plus you can do it sitting down, which is a must for any hobby in my book. The fact that you end up with something that doesn't really belong anywhere and that nobody actually wants is just, um, a drawback.
You probably know someone who cross stitches and if you're REALLY unlucky, they give you stuff they've made. Be kind, take it and pretend you like it. They know it is RUBBISH but if they can't give it away (and face it, nobody ever BUYS that shit) they cannot justify their next fix. Indulge them, even though by giving you whatever it was they seem to almost be screaming at you that you have NO TASTE.
I will add here that I have aquired some graph paper, with the intention of inventing MY OWN interesting and MODERN cross stitch designs. The only thing is my suggestions are still regarded with horror.
"Brandon, shall I do you a cross stitch picture of a Transformer?"
"OMG Mum, that would be SO SHIT!"
"Fair enough. I mean GO TO YOUR ROOM!"
He's right. At least I'm not making pottery (anymore).
I have a confession to make and it isn't pretty. You see, I've taken up a new and shameful hobby...I've started cross stitching. No, don't go, hear me out. The thing about cross stitch is that it is compulsive to the "user" but REPULSIVE to everyone else (unless they too are "infected"). Telling people that you have taken up cross stitching is a bit like telling people that you have let The Lord Jesus Christ into your heart...You can see the look of horror creep across their faces, as they slowly back away and try to decided whether they want to know you anymore.
The reason that people are so loathe to mix with cross stitchers is very similar to the reason they avoid Christians...They don't want anything rammed down their throats. And at least with Christianity they only have to listen to a few crappy Bible quotes, or throw a couple of unwanted printed tracts onto the fire. If, however, they continue to associate with cross stitchers they risk being given presents (or birthday cards) in cross stitch! Horrible, ugly, dated-looking things that have been lovingly and laboriously made, so that they cannot throw them away (without feeling guilty) and must therefore keep forever. Stored FOREVER in their HOMES, also with the distinct expectation that they will be hung ON THE WALL. And I don't mean a wall in the loo.
Right about now you are probably getting confused.
"How can Scarlet say she likes to cross stitch and then slag off the very hobby she enjoys?" you ask.
That's simple. Cross stitching is fun, it's like doing a puzzle (as you copy the pattern chart) and doing something creative at the same time. The outcome is going to be a twee, bumpy, picture of a cottage, some poppies, Chinese symbols, Peter Rabbit, a Native American, a wolf or a cat (ugh, these are the only pictures ever invented for cross stitch, I swear) but the process of actually making that picture is relaxing and vaguely artistic. I enjoy it. Plus you can do it sitting down, which is a must for any hobby in my book. The fact that you end up with something that doesn't really belong anywhere and that nobody actually wants is just, um, a drawback.
You probably know someone who cross stitches and if you're REALLY unlucky, they give you stuff they've made. Be kind, take it and pretend you like it. They know it is RUBBISH but if they can't give it away (and face it, nobody ever BUYS that shit) they cannot justify their next fix. Indulge them, even though by giving you whatever it was they seem to almost be screaming at you that you have NO TASTE.
I will add here that I have aquired some graph paper, with the intention of inventing MY OWN interesting and MODERN cross stitch designs. The only thing is my suggestions are still regarded with horror.
"Brandon, shall I do you a cross stitch picture of a Transformer?"
"OMG Mum, that would be SO SHIT!"
"Fair enough. I mean GO TO YOUR ROOM!"
He's right. At least I'm not making pottery (anymore).
